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I’m on such a creative high, you’re liable to see anything on here. I’m grateful that you have taken the time to even bring your energy to this space, my space, where I feel the most alive and free….. welcome to the many moods of cheryse


Chapter 2: Stuck between a ___ and a bald head


He inched closer to me. I told my legs to run but clearly they didn’t respond because there I was, still as a deer caught in headlights.


“You can’t escape me Sin,” He spoke breathlessly in my ear. “You know I hate being called that. What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I tried to push him away from me but I was caught up in his love spell.  “Nothing you don’t want me to.” He growled as he gripped my breast. I made a mental note to curse Farrah out for introducing me to those unlined bras. If this bra had padding in it, He wouldn’t be feeling my nipples hardening right now, FUCK. I guess my legs said better late than never because I started walking backwards until the back of my head met the top of my Rothko print hanging on the foyer wall leading to my kitchen, all the while his hands never left my chest.


“I thought we...'“ I began talking and immediately his hands covered my mouth. “Don’t say a word, just let me do this” he said at a whisper lowering his mouth to my nipple, biting it through my shirt all while his hands were still restricting my words. I can’t let this shit go down this easily, not showing restraint will give off the idea that what Taj and I  had wasn’t solid, I can’t have that.  I seriously don’t want to cross this line. Taj and I haven’t been the spiciest lately. He’s always gone and it’s always a “meeting.” I know he is giving his all into changing his lifestyle, but sometimes I feel like he has lost focus of the family. 14 years selling coke to white people is not an ideal career but the connections he’s made and converted those into actual businesses is what separates the boys from the men and that’s what most intrigued me about him.


7 years ago while I was alone in his high-rise, I was looking for old phone numbers he might have slipped up and kept and I ran across an ounce of coke in his Gucci fur coat. He was so predictable, what man doesn’t hide drugs or money in old coat pockets in the summer? I learned that quickly from my first drug dealing lover when I was 13. My Grandma always told me if you go looking for something, baby you will find it, so don’t be searching in men’s belongings. Sorry grandma, that mind frame is what had neighbors not knowing they were siblings back in the day. Us modern women are gonna look. I knew the moment he got on the private elevator to leave for his routine meeting, I was going to turn into Sherlock Holmes.


He was 34 years old, wearing a Presidential Rolex and owned a penthouse on the 55th floor of the Vue.  Which is rare because when the recession hit, banks weren’t lending anymore. Out of 409 units only 16 units sold, so the new developer turned the rest into apartments and trust me, rent around here is higher than a day in Cali with Wiz Khalifa and Snoop Dogg. Taj drove a Porsche Panamera, had season courtside tickets, a closet full Hermes, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, custom tailored suits and literally every other luxury item you could think of. I knew he had to be doing something for money other than the job in IT he claimed he had , especially since we had been together 5 months and I've never seen him with a computer. It was only a matter of time before I figured out what a man that claims to work in technology but doesn’t own a computer, actually does for money.

His face was stretched wide with horror when he got off that elevator and saw me standing there in my uncomfortable ass fitted black pencil skirt and white pussy bow blouse holding what could put him behind bars for a couple years.


“YO are you going through my shit now ?!” he yelled rushing over to me.  I jumped out of the way quickly. “You got some mutha fucking explaining to do, and I mean right now!” I screamed back not moving a muscle. With as much gangsta as  I had in my voice, I legit wasn’t prepared to be fighting no grown ass man over their shit, but I still kept my composure. Taj snatched the zip-loc bag straight out of my hands with force, almost busting it. I cowered back and yelled “Well your dumb ass is about to have it all over the floor acting crazy as hell like that!” The ferocious look in his eyes had me so shook, I had no idea what to do next. The next moments of silence had the air so thick you could cut it with a knife. We stood there in the middle of the floor, the mirrored elevator sparkling behind him and a panoramic view of city’s skyline behind me, staring stone cold straight through to each other's soul.


He walked up to me slowly and took my hands. “Look baby, I was gon’ tell you one day—I just didn't want your love to change for me. Our shit is so good ya know?” He uttered looking at the floor. This can go one of two ways, either I slap the shit out of him for lying and having me in here with this shit without my knowledge or I could let him know I’ve always questioned his financial sources or wait for him to tell me the details and go from there. Playing eenie-meanie-miny-moe wouldn’t help in this situation so my decision which was the latter of the two. Come from from a place of love and forgiveness. And depending on what this guy’s explanation was, I would decide if we could actually move forward. I took a deep breath and opened my heart and ears to fully receive whatever he was going to say.


“I’ve been in this game for a min now, I’ve never dealt with no niggas. I’ve never so much as gotten a speeding ticket. I know how to move and stay low.  This old cat taught me the game right out of high school and I’ve been soaring ever since. I only deal with crackers and referral only, no violence has ever came my way. My clients love that type of vibe so that’s why they don’t mind paying $450 for a 8 ball. I've dealt with the same people since I started, most of my clients are professional people so you don’t have to worry.”  Taj explained this time looking me in the eyes.


I shifted my stance a little bit and crossed my arms in front of me. “So you mean to tell me, all these damn meetings you been running off to are drug deals and all these lavish dinners at Capitol Grill, Bentleys and all this other fancy ass shit that you know I hate has been to drop-off drugs?” I asked sarcastically pulling the bottom of his goatee. “Guilty” he said jokingly, relaxing his tense composure, after noticing my playful tone and gesture.


“Well that explains a lot. I knew damn well you weren’t into no damn technology seeing that you don’t own not one single computer in this gorgeous opulent ass penthouse.” He looked around and smiled as if he was caught up in a lie. “If it’s so gorgeous then why won’t you move in?  Sinclair, ever since the kids dad passed I told you, you are not in this alone, I told you I got you. You won’t accept money from me to help you build capital for your jewelry business, you won’t let me pay your rent, you won’t move in. What do I have to do get you to let me help you for a change? Now I know you are independent lil Webbie but you gonna have to fall back and let a nigga do his thing.” he chided waiting for me to answer.


“It not about NOT letting you, it’s more of a feeling that we aren’t stable, you are my boyfriend and there is no stability in that— when we reach that level of commitment, which i’m not saying this to rush you, but I would feel more comfortable with my fiancé or husband doing those things, not a boyfriend. — You have been really good to me, Gracie and Rocket, dining us at fine restaurants and showing up for them when they need you. You are appreciated in more ways than you know.” I swooned while tearing up thinking of how much he has been there for me and the kids following the fatal car crash where a irresponsible drunk driver snatched Greg’s life last year on dangerous ass highway 74.


He wiped my tears then he grabbed my hand with his own tears starting to form and said through a stutter “Sinclair, you are all a man could ever dream about spending his life with. I watch you day in and day out nurturing those kids, comforting them through their father’s death all the while smiling, starting school back up and working around the clock to get your business off the ground.”


He let go of my hand, got up, walked over to the floating shelves on his wall and lifted a compartment under his watch winder, exposing a fat ass juicy 6 carat emerald cut diamond ring. My vision started to blur as he walked back my way bending on one knee directly in front of me. Is he proposing? How did me finding coke lead to this? What is happening? I was puzzled and excited all in one. Taj choking back his words grabbed my left hand and said “As I was saying Sinclair, I don’t want anyone but you. I went to your mom the week after I met her, showed her this ring and I asked her for your hand in marriage. She sat with me and cried, she told me if your dad was here he would have given me his blessing.” My slow tears turned into a snotty cry as he continued.  “I came home and put this ring away waiting for the day I would reveal myself to you fully accept me. I knew that would be the day I ask you for your hand in marriage— I imagined the day to be way more romantic what this has panned out to be but there is no better time than the present. SINclair cLOVER will you marry—?”


“YES baby yesss” I yelped jumping up and down. He stood up and scooped me off my feet and carried me to his bed. With the click of two buttons on his digital remote “Forever Mine” byThe  Ojays started playing and the fireplace began blazing in front of us. Within minutes my work clothes were lying in a pile on the floor and his head was buried between my legs. He always licked that stamp before he mailed it if you know what I mean. He started licking slowly up and down on my pearl until it hardened, “Owwwwww!” it gets so sensitive when its grows and within minutes he shakes his head from side to side real fast tongue gliding from one side of my clit to the other until my knees stiffens on his ears and i’m clawing his Versace sheets, back arching and screaming “ohhhhh gahhhhhh don’t stop, i’m cumming!!!!” I trembled uncontrollably until I couldn’t feel my legs. “Ok baby that’s enough it’s too sensitive” I purred pushing his bald head from between my thighs. I don’t remember him even undressing but there he was standing in the middle of the room with the sun revealing every inch of his 6 feet 5 inch 265 lb chocolate body.  “Bring your ass here, I ain’t done with you yet” he whispered, turning me over on my stomach. Choking me from behind, he slid inside with one fluid motion. I gasped in pleasure and bit the pillow laying under me. “Don’t move, let me get all the way in there” he murmured digging deeper inside me. The sound of macaroni being stirred in a bowl filled the room as we motioned our way into a simultaneous orgasm.


I quickly snapped out of my daydream, pushing Jared’s head with force, making him stumble back, I said in a serious tone, “This isn’t 2010! I am happily married woman now! We are in Taj’s and I home and we have life together, I’m not about to risk losing my whole family behind an affair with you. I will not!”


He then got an evil look in his eyes and growled “You will if I fucking say you will!” He moved in closer to me and grabbed my wrists. “I’ve been friends with you for years, watching you sleep deprived taking care of this house, these kids and Taj all while pouring your heart and energy into your makeup business while he flaunts you around like a fucking trophy, you are unhappy. You don’t even wear makeup Sinclair. You are a fucking artist, you are a creative. But since your “big time” husband expects you to have a business, you trade in jewelry making, true craftsmanship for a career in vanity, MAKEUP? What has happened to you?” I shook free of his grip and began crying realizing everything Jared said was true. I have evolved into everything Taj wanted me to be. Damn what HAS happened to me?


“Damn baby don’t cry, I didn’t mean it that way.” he consoled while reaching out to hug me. I melted into his arms and he walked me into my kitchen. I followed until we reached the counter and Jared lifted me up and opened my legs. I don’t know why it seem like I always have on a skirt on at the wrong time around this man. Jared slid my panties to the side and placed his tongue dead center of my clit— eeeeeeeekkkkk! I nearly Jumped out of my skin at the sound of the the door knob turning. Jared and I looked at each other in the dark, the light in the hallway flicked on and……

thanks for reading,

Chapter 3 will be live wednesday 9/21..

please follow @sinclairclover on Instagram for the Chapters 1&2 discussion questions….

Written by: Cheryse

Edited by: DUB

Chapter 3: FACEtime

Chapter 1: The camera man