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I’m on such a creative high, you’re liable to see anything on here. I’m grateful that you have taken the time to even bring your energy to this space, my space, where I feel the most alive and free….. welcome to the many moods of cheryse


chapter 4: flashback to some wild shit

 This FaceTime shit had me nervous as hell, as I lay there with a dick inches away from my meow, the man I just masturbated with on the other end of the FaceTime clearly trying to figure out why I suddenly hung up, this situation took me back to a time where I got caught for real for REAL playing these type of games, I swore I would never do this shit again…….

There was a time in my life I had been dealing with a guy named Kevin, I was 21, he was 37, we met working at QC bank, where I was doing customer service and he was a manager on the floor. I didn’t really find him attractive at first, He was one of those “extra low, I’m not bringing a pot luck if my team throws an office party, I don’t care what you did over the weekend, don’t ask me about my family and personal business types.” He was about 6’5 290 lbs, out of shape, Hump back of Notre dame type of man but mystery was always alluring to me. The more he walked passed me without making contact or speaking, the more appealing he became to me. I've always been a hunter, Not a characteristic most women have because the average woman loves been chased, loves attention from a man that obsesses over her, while I too like all those things, I like to really call the shots and capture those that aren’t even thinking about me and make them fall dead to their knees after I put my claws in them. He was the perfect prey but the task seemed rather difficult. One particular day I found him sitting near the elevator alone tapping at his phone. I sat down next to Kevin and simply asked “are you gonna be nasty today or are you gonna speak to me like a real man ought to?” He looked up from his phone at me and chuckled, his eyes only met mine for a split second but that was enough time for me to give him that “I’ll fuck up your whole life” stare. He quickly put his head down and went back to tapping at his phone and said “Sinclair what do you want?”

“Boy you don’t even know…”

“Boy?” he said sarcastically.

“oh you HEARD me” I matched his energy and stood up to walk away so he could see my thickness in my chocolate colored pencil skirt. As sure as my name is Sinclair his eyes followed me until I was out of plain sight. Later that day I wrote my number on a piece of paper and left it on his computer, It was a Friday so I left hoping to hear from him before Monday. The sun wasn’t all the way down before my phone was ringing with a South Carolina area code flashing on the screen, when I answered, it was him. We talked the night away and damn, I didn’t expect for him to be so interesting. He had that Jay-z swag, very low key but boss like demeanor. Listening to him talk and the questions he was asking, hell I forgot I even previously compared him to the beast from The beauty and the beast Disney movie. By the end of the conversation he had me hooked on him, Not sprung, sprung but more like yeah I gotta see what he’s about, I gotta have him. Conversations like that continued on for months, we also started seeing each other and spending time… One day he revealed to me that he had a son and him and the sons mother lived together, that shit threw me for a loop but it wasn’t a non negotiable. I just couldn’t believe we talked that long without me knowing. I could reach Kevin anytime of night, he would also come see me anytime. I always knew he lived in Ballantyne, which was 40 min from me which means I never wanted to commute that far, him coming to me was perfect. Them living together wasn’t Ideal but I understood him wanting to parent his son under one roof. Understanding and accepting is too different things though, so in order for us to pursue something real he would have to get his own place, THAT was a nonnegotiable. Shortly after he told me about the baby, the baby’s mother and his living situation I went through his phone and got her number. Hell I was compromising a lot by even dealing with him in this situation but I needed real confirmation about their relationship status. I sent her a text days after getting the number that read:

-Hi you don’t know me, my name is Sinclair, Kevin and I are dating and he made me aware of you all’s living situation and I wanted to make sure I’m not invading on anyone’s home"-

There was no text response, instead she called, Sure enough he was telling the truth. She explained to me that they were not together, hadn’t been sexual in over a year and they slept in two different parts of the house but she was unaware that he had moved on. She sounded troubled to hear that him and I were seeing each other. I felt bad for her a little, but all I needed to hear from her was that they surely weren’t together, and I heard it, so communicating with her was over so I thought. She spent days after that initial conversation questioning me about little things, wanting to know what he says to me, what he buys me, where do we go… she always made me promise that I wouldn’t tell him she was reaching out, I had no problem adhering to that because I needed an ally in that house and who better than her? The only things that bothered me about our interaction was finding out that the spa he sent me to monthly was the same spa she attended, he had never paid for her visits, sweet things he said to me, she had never heard him say to her, It seemed to me like when she described him, she was describing an entirely different man. Over time Kevin and I bond seem to grow tighter…until he missed the deadline. Moving out in November turned into March, March turned into April. It was always an excuse, I won’t even get into the things he said to stall but just know it was more excuses than a nigga on death row. Instead of me being hurt and confused, I’m the type of woman that just will start recruiting more energy and that’s just what I did. I started talking to Cody. I had known Cody since I was 16, met him when I worked at DTLR in Northlake mall, He was older so he would come in and buy the latest RocaWear, Creative Recs and all. We spoke in passing throughout the years but when I mentioned him taking me out he would always joke about how young I was. One day, years after not seeing him, while still dealing with Kevin, I was out with a friend girl and seen Cody at Crave dessert bar in uptown, He was with a chick but I still made my way over there to say what’s up to my “homeboy” and slip my number, I whispered in his ear and said “I’m legal,” smiled then walked away. Over the next couple days I started talking to Cody consistently and catching up on what had been going on in his life. The calls that Kevin placed to me went unanswered a lot of times because I was preoccupied getting to know Cody in a different way. All those missed deadlines had came back to bite Kevin in the ass because my attention was shifting fast. The first time Cody and I went on an official date, We hit up Kennedy’s on a Monday and ate those “all you can eat” crablegs, talked and laughed for hours. After dinner, we went back to my house and attempted to watch “Mac and Devin go to high school,” Halfway through the movie he was kissing me. I had been waiting for this dude to give me some play for YEARS so I didn’t want to give it up too quick and fuck up what could be but he looked over at me and said “that waiting shit ain’t gonna impress me, especially with you… we know each other smiley (a name he would always call me), stop playing with me,” and just like that them clothes came off and I jumped in and out the shower, the condom went on, the dick went in and shit went down! Kevin had been eating my pussy so much without proper dick delivery I forgot what it was like to get beat completely down. Kevin, I don’t know if it was his age (it wasn’t until later that I realized 37 ain’t even that damn old) or what it was but his dick could never stay hard, so of course he overcompensated with head. A lot of head, he would eat me any and every where… rather he came or not he made sure I did and that’s what I think kept my attention for so long.

I finally got to experience the closeness I’ve been feigning for since I was 16 and my nose was open from that point. I kept Kevin tucked in my pocket and began to juggle them both. I stopped having sex with Kevin because Cody and I became active pretty often and I also had a good ass excuse ….because his ass still hadn’t even moved out. I had it all balanced out, both of them didn’t know a thing about each other but I had both of them feeling like they were my only ONE. My ego was at an all time high until the day it wasn’t. Me and Kylan was out eating near Kevin’s house so I called him to stop through, of course he did. We chatted a little bit, He paid for me and Kylan’s meal and dipped off real boss like. Not even 15 minutes after he pulled off, his baby mama was calling my phone. Communication between us had faded, because of Cody I wasn’t all in to that situation anyway but I answered out of curiosity.

“Hello”

“yes..”

“Hey Sinclair are you and Kevin still seeing each other?”

“um yes why?”

“well because lately he has been talking about us being a family again, He said you guys were over and he went down on me last night.”

“hmmm really? Thanks for the information…” I responded hanging up looking to the sky thinking Oh this nigga got me all the way fucked up.

I finished my drink, Kissed Kylan good bye and wasted no time calling his ass up.

“oh so you back fucking your baby mama huh?” I said angrily. I genuinely didn’t care but it was definitely a blow to my ego and I had to get back in control of this shit.

“Man Sinclair what are you talking about? Don’t start that bullshit today, I thought we were passed that, you’ve talked to her and she told you we weren’t together and we hadn’t had sex in a year” He spat off trying to convince me of some bullshit.

“Nigga that ain’t what she said! she called me tod—”

“Wait a damn minute she told you WHAT?” he screamed through the phone cutting me off.

“oh you already know nigga, That was the dumbest thing ever, you knew damn she would die at the chance to tell me anything… and she was happy to tell me you over there eating pussy” I said laughably trying to keep my composure and keep my cool on.

“well babe, its true and I’m sorry but before today I hadn’t heard from you in 2 days, you been getting ghost lately and I didn't know what was going on.”

“Kevin that’s to be expected from you boo, I knew you were full of shit this whole time, you were never leaving that house, you’ve been stringing me alone the entire time” I reminded him of the bullshit that had been going for awhile.

“well see that’s not true, I do plan to move, Her and I have been living together 7 years, I’ve been getting things in order, these things take time baby”

CODY IS CALLING showed up on my screen, I didn’t even tell Kevin I would call him back or to hold on, I just pressed end and accept and started my conversation with Cody.

Because Kevin and I work together it was almost impossible for me to completely ignore him so I played it cool and on our breaks I would make him park his car on the top floor of the garage and get in the back seat with me so he could bury his head between my legs. Same routine everyday, one leg in the air the other on the backseat floor, knee digging in the back of the driver seat. He would place his hands under my ass and slurp it like a thirsty dog with its last drink of water, all tongue, since he want to be at home playing house I made sure his mouth would be too tired to give additional head. Every time I would work up a cum, I stopped him and made him lick at my nipples, when I felt like my clit had calmed down I buried his head again, I did that motion for at least 9 minutes, the next 60 seconds would be used to grab the fat part on the back of his neck to push his head in closer so I could feel that tongue dig deeper as I filled his mouth with slick stuff and trembled uncontrollably, I didn’t let his head go until the throbbing stopped. Most days I used him for head, to me that was his punishment. I seen him outside of work less and less and he was feeling it because he began popping up at my house. The first time I found it funny and almost amusing because I’m thinking did he really drive 40 minutes now even knowing if I was home. By the second pop up I was over it, because Cody was a frequent there, and I would die if they ran into each other. I was stern when I answered my door that second time and I said “Listen you don’t pay no fucking bills here, Don’t be bringing your ass here unexpected.” I slammed the door in his face and went to the living to watch him drive off from the window. I hated to be nasty toward him but Cody and I had been going so steady. He had taken me on my first trip to Atlanta, bought me 2 BEBE dresses which was big for a 21 year old that damn near thrifts everything she wears. We never agreed on being official but the way we were moving was enough to keep me interested and devote most of my attention to him. I guess Kevin figured that car head shit was running out, he wanted to go back to spending time like we used to, but in my mind I knew it would never be how it was. I continued my consistency with Cody, but still entertained Kevin just enough to keep him interested. The baby mama followed up with a call telling me her and him hadn’t been sexual since that day, and he had gone back to being his normal cold self to her. I didn’t understand her logic in needing to continue to contact me, but hell I also couldn’t understand her sharing a roof with a man that’s openly dating another woman either so I stopped trying to.

3 months passed and my love triangle was still in tact. I was still managing to keep my two love lives completely separate. I still put on a hurt act to Kevin so he was persistent on going out of his way to prove to me he wanted to be with me, He would set up appointments for me to view apartments with him, gift me with things and take me places in the small amount of time I gave him. I still hadn’t given in to having sex with him, I promised him that we would start again when he was moved into his new place, he agreed that was fair.

One blazing hot Saturday Kevin called me early and asked could he bring his 3 year old son to meet me. He told me that was another way of proving he was serious. I agreed to it, being petty, I wanted to have something over his baby’s mama head so I encouraged him to come by and bring his son Dustin.

When they arrived Dustin was asleep, so he placed him on my couch then came in my room. I knew what time it was…. “eat that cat time” and sure enough he ate it until his mustache was dripping. He stood and unzipped his pants.

“uh what are you doing?” I asked.

“Now I’ve been holding out and respecting your wishes but damn baby I can’t get NO play?, I miss being in you”

my phone buzzed, a text from Cody came through:

“Wanna go to Adolf’s all white party?”

“Hell yeah babe that sounds good, I’m down” I texted back.

“Cool let’s go to True Religion in south park, I want to get us something to wear” he texted back immediately.

See that was what the fuck I was talking about, taking me out and buying something new to wear for the party. Here I was with this man in my house with a baby and he lives with his mama. Nah times up let me get him out of here so I can prepare for Cody, I thought to myself.

I spent the next 15 minutes making up a story to him of how my sister had just text me and her and my mama was on their way over so I could run to the store with them to get an outfit for my mom’s pastor appreciation dinner tomorrow. I assured him that him bringing Dustin over was huge strides and I appreciated the opportunity to meet him. He bought every word and packed up his sleeping baby and left. I straightened up the place removing any evidence of Kevin’s visit before Cody’s arrival. Cody came about 20 min after Kevin left, I stepped out the shower, still in my towel when I opened the door for him to come in. “Damn girl, you tryna get stuck before we go to this mall huh? opening the damn door with that shit on, wetting up the floors and shit.” he said flirting. I smiled and switched my ass down the hallway and opened the towel as soon as we stepped in the room. He Bear hugged my naked body causing me to drop the towel on the floor. My toes were raised off the floor and I was in the arms of this high yellow, bald headed 6 foot 2 inch full bearded man. He kissed me like the night of our first date and I instantly got moist. He sat on my bed fully dressed and I straddled him, my tongue never leaving his mouth. moments later, his clothes were thrown on the floor beside my towel and he was deep inside me. I bounced and scooted my way into a deep orgasm, his hands around my neck, my eyes rolled in the back of my head, I climaxed all my energy out and fell to his side panting for air. Cody smiled in amazement at one of our best, wettest and sloppiest sexual encounters yet, It was obvious a hoe bath wouldn't do him justice before we headed to the mall, he needed to shower. I didn’t join him as he requested because I decided to pick out my clothes while he was bathing but I planned to jump in when he jump out. Sliding hangers full of vintage clothes I hear Cody yell “Oh shit what the fuck?”

“what’s wrong baby?” I asked, running out of my closet into the bathroom.

“Some big black nigga just walked in this room!”

Without another word I grabbed the towel on the floor and ran to the door seeing Kevin’s Nissan truck pull out of my driveway. My heart raced a mile a minute walking back in the room, thinking of what I could say to smooth this shit over. “That was my dad, he has a key, but I don’t know why he would just leave without saying nothing, what happened when he walked in?” I said as calmly as possible, trying to play off my fear and nervousness. “Nothing happened, I was washing and when I looked up he was walking in your room, he seen me in here and turned around.” he said calmly matching my energy while stepping out of the shower. I pretended to place a call to my dad saying, “Hey dad, why didn’t you just call, I didn't know you were coming over?” I paused to give off the idea that someone was speaking on the other end, “oh no its ok, that was my friend, we are headed to the mall, just come back later tonight” I went on still talking to my imaginary dad on my iPhone. “Damn he scared me, I’m glad I didn’t bring my pistol in, I didn’t know who the hell that was.” Cody sounded relieved, putting back on his clothes. I gulped, a knot was in my throat and I felt bubble guts creeping on me. Just as he put his belt through the loops on his pants, we heard the doorbell ring. This can’t be so, Please don’t tell me he bought his ass back. Cody looked at me in confusion and headed to the front door. I attempted to find something to slip on when I heard Kevin say loudly “yeah she a liar bruh Good luck with that shit.” Still wrapped in my towel I ran through the house until I reached the front door. Kevin and Cody was in the front lawn talking to each other. I could see the embarrassment and disappointment in Cody’s face, I could only imagine what this clown is telling him. Cody turned around and said, “Smiley all you had to do was keep it real, you don’t think its nasty to fuck 2 niggas in one day?” If he considered head from one and dick from the other fucking 2 niggas in one day then no I don’t but technically only one of y’all was inside me, I thought while trying to gather the words to say aloud, the only thing I could think to say was “fuck both of y’all, how could I have fucked you today Kevin? your dick won’t stay hard long enough to put it in, ANYDAY, you’re a liar you ugly piece of shit, get your ass off my lawn…. Cody you can believe this nigga if you want to, you’d be the fool.” I slammed the door, locked it and walked dumbfounded back to my room. “If y’all could talk, would y’all have told on me?” I rhetorically asked my walls.

“You gonna answer the shit or what?” Taj asked impatiently before reaching for my phone. “huh?” I asked jumping out of my thoughts “um” I followed up saying.

Before I had a chance to Taj had my phone in hand “Jared is connecting” on the screen…. “sinclair, Sinclair I can’t see you, it says poor connection” Jared shouted on the other end of my phone that was still in Taj’s hand……

 


Chapter 5 : all in

Chapter 3: FACEtime